Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Girls, and their boobs.

Most people have rants inside of them. I decided that I should probably let mine loose... I mean it's only natural right?

All girls have obsessions, and for most girls, it's how they look. In all honesty, that's what everyone judges on, how you look when you pass them by. Who care's if you're a good person or not, if you're dressed like a slob? After all, we live in a very superficial society. If you say anything different, you're probably in denial. You know how much you hate it when you pass a person you know in a store and you just didn't really feel like dressing up? It's like that.
Girl's hate other girls that pass them by with nicer make up, bigger boobs, or a smaller waist than them. It's only natural. Every girl wants to be a starlet, a Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johannson or Nicole Scherzinger. True beauty may come in may shapes and sizes, but there's always a common denominator... sex appeal.

Today's obsession is boobs. I understand that girls that have small rib cages can have big boobs, I mean, it's not that uncommon, but it certainly isn't normal.

[NOTE TO GUYS: if you're like most guys, you don't know what the hell the letters and numbers that are given to you mean, you just know "A" is small and "D" is big... The numbers, however, play a role too. 32 is the smallest rib cage, and usually goes with an "A" or a "B", the more normal sizes for rib cages are 34 and up...Oh right for good measure, the "ABC's" you're given are the CUP SIZE, what your hand can cup...you already knew this I'm sure.] To quote the great, late Frank Zappa here, "More than a mouthful, goes to waste".

So today we're talking about the freakish little rib caged girls with huge NATURAL boobs [and quiet possibly one liar, you can judge that one for yourself]. That mean's we're going to be skipping the "ABC's" and we're going straight to the "D's", the 32D's to be exact.

As many of you guys should know, Katy Perry has skyrocketed to the top of every boys teenage dream with her 32D's on the cover of Rolling Stone. No boy really cared too much about this girl when she bust onto the scene with "I kissed a girl",but it sure did put a picture in everyones minds of two girls making out, and what guy doesn't love that image? However we still didn't know anything about what was underneath her shirt, and thats the only reason we care about our starlets, it's all about assets, it's not like they're your girl next door who has a great personality. Our stars are just pictures and flashes on the TV, unless you want to be a bit more creepy and obsessive and start researching their every like and dislike and start stalking them; FREAK!




Congrats Katy, your D's have made your not so appealing songs the talk of the town! You have made it, no one cares what your songs say, just show off your goods and you'll be just fine. At least I'm happy this girl doesn't have any extra help from implants. Well, that's how it seems to me. Her frame supports her boobs, it doesn't look like her body is under any pressure to hold her boobs in place like girls who have implants, that look like their bodies want to give out under the pressure. Her breasts are very fitting for her, she's a normal girl and her body is in balance with everything she's got. When boob's look a tad big for a girls shoulders to support, or the torso in general, it's probably too good to be true, in that case honey, they are fake. For now, I will say bravo Katy, and see you and those other boobilicious girls on the Victoria Secret's runway.

Next up is everyones favorite Kardashian, Kim! That girl's got curves for days and a cute face to match. Now, I don't know about when you first heard about Kim Kardashian, but the first time I knew who she was, brought to me by Ray Jay. "World famous Kim Kardashian" you remember when everyone was scrambling to find out where you could get the video? Yeah, that's when I found out. I think I was late to catch on to the Kim train but, now I know. If you're kinda famous already, then your body shoots you to the top with a sextape... sucks that everyone can see it and judge you but good job for keeping your body on point! This is the lovely Kim Kardashian and her 32DD's that are bouncing around in some boys head as we speak...




I'm perfectly aware that her rack isn't the reason guys love her, but it doesn't hurt to have nice ones. After all, look what it did for Katy's career! Kim has been dancing around in guys dreams for... I don't even know how long, but with the help of that sex tape, she has been helping guys around the world help themselves for days. You have truly done a great service to your fellow man. I suppose this would be a congrats to Kim for having a nice pair to balance her nice ass, I guess there are girls out there who get all the luck!

I think 32DD is the biggest you can go naturally, so Kim, you lucked out! You lucky LUCKY girl, and not to mention your butt, I'm so jealous! In any case, that brings me to my next girl who I didn't hear of until someone brought it to my attention. Denise Milani. Who? Exactly.

Here is Miss Denise Milani, whom I have a sneaking suspicion has some fake bits on her. You can judge for yourself. She says her breasts are a NATURAL 32DDD... C'mon! That's ridiculous! A girls frame has to be able to hold those hugenormous mammory glands, and this girl is too scrawny in my opinion, to have those this big attached to her. Don't you think that she should have some meat on her bones? Possibly a side of thighs to go with her shake?






Apparently, this girl is a fixture thats usually seen on Askmen. Now most guys don't really care if a girl online has real boobs or not. Especially if she's just an online pinup. Who even needs to know their name? What, I'm being serious. The only reason you should know their name if you're a guy is to look up more pictures of your online pinup. Needless to say, there's not much to be said about this girl.. oops, woman. My bad. She's married. She's got huge boobs, a small waist, skinny shoulders, and no butt... you think her boobs are real? I think shes a bit top heavy like she's going to topple over or get smashed under the weight of her mammory glands. I suppose, in this case, it doesn't matter, but why would you say they're natural if they're not? there's no shame in fake boobs.

All in all, I suppose you can say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder; or slightly freakish over abundance of bouncing flesh. Whatever you think is hott or sexy, or weird and freakish is a perfectly good rant for someone else.

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Flaws Are Fine.

Have you ever wanted to haul off and slug someone for their stupidity? Did you ever think that because you aren't the "norm" that there's something wrong with you? I have. I hate when people look at you weird for not being like them, and not wanting to be like them at all. When I was a kid I was a tomboy. I don't mean that in the cute trendy way that girls use it now. I had bruises on bruises and cuts and scrapes and I had toy cars and action figures. I wasn't like the other girls, in first grade when girls were forming their cliques I had boys as friends and didn't even notice that it wasn't normal. I didn't mind not having friends that were girls because when I tried to make friends out of them it was pointless and I was always left out. Why would I want to play with girls when they didn't know how to skateboard or play video games!? Not to mention they don't know a thing about comic books! POINTLESS! I had a few friends that were girls,I use the word friends lightly. They were fair weather friends and that's all. To this day that's still how I feel. I don't text girls all my friends are guys, they aren't catty and don't give a shit if I don't wear make up when I go out or if i look better than them in a dress. Girls don't understand how its possible that I have so many guy friends without being a whore... maybe this will help, i was the first girl born in my family and so i was raised sitting behind the umpire watching baseball and wiffleball, a milestone for me was the day my dad taught me to throw and catch a football and run a play. I was a tomboy, but i had manners and i was proper when i was supposed to be. If you think that a girl not having girl friends is impossible, you're wrong. I am easy going and silly and goofy, girls are up tight and say fucked up things about their friends. I don't mind if i never have girl friends if it means that i don't have to deal with the drama... because life is supposed to be about happiness and i'm happy without the drama and without the hate. My boys love me for who i am not who i have to pretend to be to be around them.I don't care about Coach or Chanel purses, it just holds your junk should it really cost that much? My boys have seen me at my best and at my worst, they have watched my horrible relationships come and go and never think any less of me for it. I wouldn't trade them for anything...They're my family, and are there for me whenever I need them. They listen to my problems and help me solve them and remember to relax and be happy with who I am. AND I am a girl without any girl friends, I am a nerd and enjoy a good comic book argument, and as much as I hate loosing I love video games and a good match.